Fatherhood,
for a caring man, begins the day a lady pronounces to his man that she is pregnant and the man smiles admiringly to the sweet news.
There are like a million things that precede the ever-after; the greatest of
all these, growing up into a man: manning-up. Very importantly that: “God
cannot fit in our plans, we must fit in his”
Love
that avoids sacrifice and
commitment is no love at all: “in family there is Love”.
For me, the love found in family has been encompassing, fulfilling and transformative. It is what
turned me from a ‘boy’ to a ‘man’. I believe all men search for this kind of love. Yes, parenthood can drain
and exhaust you but infuses you with a strength you didn’t know you had.
The hallmark of immaturity is often times selfishness, but, with parenthood this veil is stripped off since there is more than one person involved. Marriage and family is the bedrock; the birth and foundation of adulthood: it rips you out of the cycle of self-involvement. A man needs a cause. An ideal. A mission that goes beyond himself. I think it’s very hard to grow as a man, to even become a man, without that. For instance, my mission as a father is: “I want to raise good children. I don’t want them to grow into people who will do anything so as to get what they want in Life”. As the iconic Nelson Mandela once remarked: “it is the significance that we have made in the lives of others that we determine the life we lead”. I am not perfect in this area but I am trying.
The hallmark of immaturity is often times selfishness, but, with parenthood this veil is stripped off since there is more than one person involved. Marriage and family is the bedrock; the birth and foundation of adulthood: it rips you out of the cycle of self-involvement. A man needs a cause. An ideal. A mission that goes beyond himself. I think it’s very hard to grow as a man, to even become a man, without that. For instance, my mission as a father is: “I want to raise good children. I don’t want them to grow into people who will do anything so as to get what they want in Life”. As the iconic Nelson Mandela once remarked: “it is the significance that we have made in the lives of others that we determine the life we lead”. I am not perfect in this area but I am trying.
Honestly,
it would be a very big-fat lie to tell anyone that parenthood is an easy thing. The whole package is equally challenging:
Fatherhood has its challenges it comes with and so does motherhood, as well. I
have had my fair share and I know a lot awaits but whatever the job calls for,
I know I always have a purpose and calling that transcends my own self-interest to the side; but still I live
with a certain meaning and clarity that I didn’t have before. Childhood ended and
manhood precisely begun when I became a father. In truth, all women yearn for a
man who will come to their lives and be the protector and leader; these roles
are natural and engrained: very importantly, “it takes two to tango”.
In the word of the Scripture, Proverbs 5:18-19; “Let thy fountain be blessed; and rejoice with the wife
of thy youth, let her be as the loving kind and pleasant roe, let her breast
satisfy thee at all times, and thou ravished always with love”
Parenthood
tags along with human decency. If you do not wake up to realize that then the
kids you birth are as good as the bad fruit; as scripture says in Mathew 7:18:
“A good tree can’t bear good fruit and; a bad tree
can’t bear good fruit”. .God said: “BE STILL & KNOW” not: “FREAK OUT & QUESTION”. It is
with humility that I pledge allegiance to this word; that the LORD may always
be our guide in parenting our sweet boy and all that may follow;
A PRAYER FOR SHANE:
Dear
LORD,
We
want our son to become intellectually well-informed and clever, conscientious
and morally upright, sanely religious, strong and healthy, energetic and
enterprising and cultivated in good taste and feeling.Amen~Grace Abaho, Sr.
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